I'm sitting here on my sofa catching up on e-mail and FB. I have the windows open, there is a beautiful, gentle breeze and the birds are chirping. No other noises, just nature! I enjoy these days so much.
On the other hand, it is a bad day. I'm sitting on the sofa enjoying nature and I am having a ton of extreme, shooting, pulsing nerve pain in my calves and left arm. Each throb I curse for interrupting my peace and quiet. Sometimes I get so angry at the pain, I am angry for what it has taken from me. I can't reach down pick up my grandson and hold him over my head as I did with my babies. Instead I have to make sure I am firmly planted, visually check I have a hold of him (left arm and hand numb) and try not to get distracted so I don't drop him. I can't just walk out the door and go for a stroll. I have to go with someone in case I fall. I can't do much of anything for any amount of time. I pay for it dearly as does my family.
I have been having a pity party for myself over the last few days because of all I am no longer able to do. I know I have to take a more positive spin on it but I'm having a little trouble doing that. Part of it is because we didn't have group last week and part of it is I'm just in a funk!
So, for now I will just shut off the computer, get my e-book and a beverage and head out to my zero gravity lounge and relax, surrounded by peace and quiet and pretend I am pain free!
